Create Pandemonium & get nailed NOW!

Who the fuck deemed nails a non-essential service during this apocalypse?!

Not only Un-Australian! Un-bloody worldly!

(still dirty about having stubs as fingers during COVID 19)

Now that we have moved on to riots and possibly Alien visits next month, I require ‘outta this world’ nail bling.

For essential protection against 2020.

Whatever the fuck it throws at me.

I’d have mastered a YouTube sword technique tutorial by then and I’ll samurai chop (with my sharp nails) anything coming my way .... unless it bares ice cream.

I’ll happily submit to any probing for ice cream. My COVID curves are here to stay 🐖

Actual footage of my emotional state pre nails

It's been pretty ‘hit and miss' for me at the Westfield nail bars. If I add bling to my nails, I have to forego rent. 3 days later, one chips, and I am back foregoing dinner to pay for my repairs.


Frankly, I was sick and tired of the inconsistency in “what colour you like?” I choose YELLOW, it comes out PINK …I see RED (but politely leave felling BLUE) … now I just turn others GREEN with envy as…


My ‘would date’ level has increased dramatically, you see, I’m not flirtatious just socially awkward. I suck at small talk, so my nails really help break the ice. Not hearts though.

As long as they don’t break themselves it’s all gravy 🤷‍♀️

Probes some creativity 👽

I’m neither assertive, but raising my long shiny Midnight Bella talons in the air whilst needing assistance in a restaurant, public restroom (for a less stabby wipe) or Uber from my foetal position in a valley gutter early Sunday, stopping traffic, they’re very handy (no pun intended).

Unless I’ve gathered some liquid courage out of a nice spiced rum, I don’t consider myself a sexy minx, but with these acrylics, I do PLUS they’re a safer and kinder option for my liver.

My AA meetings agree.

Pre sobriety nails

Acrylics. They’re timeless. Not kidding. They date back to the dark ages. I wouldn’t be surprised if dinosaurs glistened their claws with tree sap in the roaring Jurassic Period. I’m also confident that during the stone age, cavewomen congregated around fires, clutching mammal blood in goblets made of stone, shaping their nails with hot rocks before carving up a woolly mammoth for their mans special 'roast and rocks off’ anniversary feast.

Looking good doesn’t discriminate 🐘

Did you know (this is factual folks) that in the 1930’s, during the Depression the first bottle of Revlon nail polish hit the shelves?


The Great Depression.

Where everyone was gloomy and broke AF.

Like, um, NOW?

We don’t care if ‘he’ loves it tho 🤷‍♀️

Therefore, Pandemics warrant pretty fingers too. The best thing is Midnight Bella Beauty nails ain’t expensive. But, do not mistake affordable with quality.

They’re the best I ever had.

Ladies, I love you, but I don’t want to hear about nail damage. If applied correctly and not the medieval way (in which some nails bars still use mind you) you will have nada damage. Zilch. Nails grow. Get over it. If you have a problem, I bet your nails are so ugly you sit on them during events. Don’t @ me.

@ Midnight Bella Beauty though if you want compliments aplenty and a fresh set for $50t


77 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All